Romario Interviews Romario
Idea for self-interview was taken directly from Donald Glover's interview with himself.
Source: https://www.interviewmagazine.com/culture/donald-glover-interviews-donald-glover
Romario: Alright so let's begin. Why an interview in the first place?
Romario: I figured this would be fun and also because I was bored.
Okay so tell me, what's your purpose?
Oh wow, we're getting right into it. My purpose in life or the purpose of this interview? Or my blog?
Let's start with life.
Okay. My purpose in life is to be free.
Be free in what way exactly?
I guess, be free in a way where I don't feel like I hold myself back. I want to do the things I desire without feeling restraint.
Do you have an objective goal in "being free?"
Not necessarily. I might change that purpose in a few years, but for now I just want to live freely and experience liberty. I feel like I am still defining what that means exactly.
Okay. Very philosophical of you. Tell me, how do you introduce yourself to others?
I keep it real simple, to be honest. I don't think I have many interesting things to mention right away. I just like to be genuine about it and not act in a way that just fits in. I don't like to stand out either.
Do you fear how someone may interpret you at first impression?
Not as much now as I get older. I just hope to be welcoming and open.
Not as much now? How were you before?
I felt like people had a preconceived view of me. I mean, maybe everyone does about everybody. I was always concerned about not pleasing people or meeting expectations.
So like projection?
Yeah, pretty much. I saw myself a certain way and thought people would see me that exact way too. Or maybe I'd hold myself to a certain persona of who I thought I was supposed to be.
That's deep.
I guess so.
How were you projecting yourself to people?
Maybe it wasn't really projection, but think of it like how you'd want your brand to be known.
What's the term for that?
It doesn't come to me right now, but I think projection isn't the exact term. Or actually, I'm not sure.
You have a degree in psychology. You sure you don't know?
My degree is one thing. My knowledge is another.
Interesting. Do you think having that specific degree in psychology holds you to some sort of standard?
I actually thought a lot about this after graduating. I sometimes still feel like I appear as someone who knows so much about my field and research studies related to psychology. Then I think nobody thinks of me like that and I wonder if I am doing that projecting thing again.
It's like how a church pastor needs to maintain a good moral status because of their role. Is that how you feel?
That is exactly it. Stealing is a sin, right? Seems like there's more weight to that sin if a pastor does it. In a similar manner, I feel like I have that pressure, but in my field of study.
In all honesty, do you really think people around you see you like that?
Honestly, yeah. Friends and family. Sometimes I feel like I come off as some highly-educated, elitist, therapist-type of guy to my family when I don't see myself that way at all. I fear that I give off that energy just cause I went to college, though.
Elitist?
Yeah I think I can make it seem like I know more than others without saying anything. Just cause I have a degree in psychology.
Okay so you definitely project things because you're making that assumption.
See what I mean?
Why did you choose psychology?
I love the human mind. I think humans are very dynamic. Everyone works and thinks differently and I love seeing that when interacting with people. Damn, that sounds kind of weird putting it like that.
So are you an observer?
I would say so, yeah. I think I am good at getting to know people in a non-creepy way. I never notice the physical things though like a haircut or clothes.
What did you mean by dynamic?
Dynamic as in people are multifaceted. We think different things and have perspectives that vary. We say one thing, but can contradict that statement with another belief or opinion that we also hold. Our actions can be different from what we say or vice versa. Like when someone says they like ketchup in their burger, but take out the tomato because they hate tomatoes.
That's a funny comparison, but I get it.
Of course you do. You're me.
What plans do you have in the field of psychology?
I am still figuring that out. I kind of want to be an academic counselor, but I also want to be a family and marriage therapist, but then I am also interested in business psychology. It'd be cool to do private practice as my side hustle.
Side hustle?
Yeah like a part-time job while I work my full-time job.
Oh yeah that makes sense.
Calling mental health services a "side hustle" is sort of tone deaf, right?
No, I get what you're saying. I think I understand more now what you meant about that pressure you feel.
Yeah it can feel like walking on eggshells, but I think I am learning to accept things as they are.
Can you go on that a little more?
I think I am starting to accept things as they are, like I can't change how someone will react to the things I say or do. Not in a way where I just want to say wild things, but more so saying what I really think. I was always so focused on "saying the right thing" or doing something to gain people's trust. I felt like I had to say what others wanted to hear. I just wanted people to accept me.
Man. Do you feel accepted now?
I guess so.
Yeah. Do you think you picked the correct field to work in?
I questioned the money part of it at the beginning because it didn't feel financially secure. Now, I'm kind of putting all my eggs in one basket because it's the field I have a passion for. There's a lot of jobs out there. It's just a matter of learning what's for me.
"Walking on eggshells." "Eggs in a basket." Nice wordplay. What's with the white people sayings?
I didn't realize. I've been told I "talk white," though.
What's talking white?
Like, speaking "properly" or in a way that is socially acceptable to white people, I guess. Or more like in a way of how we perceive white people.
You get that a lot?
Not so much now, but growing up, definitely. I never speak Spanglish.
You speak English and Spanish. Why not?
I feel like my brain doesn't work that way. Also, my dad was very strict about speaking Spanglish for some strange reason. He'd tell us we either speak one language or the other, but not both. It's kind of weird now that I think about it. On certain Sundays, he'd make my siblings and I speak Spanish only and then give us money at the end of the day as a reward. My dad's an interesting person.
I don't think I have ever heard of anything like that. What do you think about that now?
To be honest, I am grateful. My Spanish isn't the best, but I think it helped the 3 of us develop our Spanish language skills. Ronaldo and Alondra are great at speaking in Spanish. Just think it was a very interesting way of my dad handling that.
Did you have any other unique parenting experiences?
Not sure if it's unique, but my dad used to make us sit in a circle from time to time to have a "reunion" and that's when we'd tell each other things we disliked about each other and things that we liked about each other.
That sounds like it could either go very well or very bad.
Yeah, I mean, we were kids. There were times where Alondra, Ronaldo, and I would want to pull each other's hair out, but my parents were there to mediate the debates. We would tell one another why we're so lazy or clumsy or messy. It's funny cause I remember looking forward to telling them things and I'm sure they did too.
So did you guys ever compliment each other?
Yeah, that was part of the rules for the reunion. We would say the things that were bothering us and at the end we would make up and work on those things. We would reluctantly say the good things, but that was part of the rules. It was awkward telling them I was grateful to have them.
Okay what about your parents? You guys would call out their errors?
Absolutely. I would tell my dad why he shouldn't fart around us or Alondra would tell him why the joke he made was not funny. Now that I think of it, that's probably the best thing we could have done as a family. I looked forward to each of us sharing things.
How old were you?
I think I was like 11. It didn't go on as we got older. I wish it did though. I think it stopped around the time I got to high school.
Do you think that idea instilled something in you all?
Most definitely. I think it made us close, especially during that time when we got back from living in Mexico.
Living in Mexico? Are you guys born and raised?
It feels weird to say "no I'm not from Mexico, but my parents are," whenever people ask if I am from Mexico. I am Mexican for sure, but I feel wrong saying I'm not from Mexico. But, technically we are because my parents are from Mexico, right?
I get what you mean.
My bad… No, my siblings and I were born here in California, but we lived in Mexico for a year. We lived in Baja California and Guerrero.
What was that like?
It was eye-opening and the most memorable.
That's an interesting response. Why?
It showed me that we know very little about Mexico.
We?
I mean people who have Mexican parents, but never been to Mexico.
That makes sense, but you were a kid who only lived in two places out there. You gathered all that as a kid?
No, I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I had it so different in California. I sensationalized Mexico as a whole and I got something deeper when I was actually there.
What part of Baja did you live in?
We lived in Tijuana, Baja California.
Does that count since San Diego is like a highway away?
Well we definitely weren't in San Diego, so. I went to school in Tijuana as well.
Oh so you got the full experience.
I guess? What do you mean?
Like, you got the full experience as in you lived and learned and took everything in at that point of your life. You weren't vacationing.
No, not vacationing at all. We rented a place, bought groceries, made friends, and all that. I was even in a soccer team with my brother and our friends.
What did you enjoy most about Tijuana?
Living as a family and the friends I made.
What did you hate about Tijuana?
School.
What part of Guerrero did you guys live in?
We lived in a pueblo where my grandmas were from. That was also the pueblo my parents were born and raised in. A bigger city we'd go to often was called Arcelia.
Wow so you guys went from Orange County, to Tijuana, and then to a pueblo deep in the south of Mexico. What was the societal change like?
The change was a complete 180 for us. We went from living in a city to living in a village with unpaved roads. Not a lot of people owned vehicles. Most people had cattle and farmed or bought ingredients like meat and milk from someone that did. There was a pickup truck that took people to Arcelia if they wanted to buy things that were more than just the basics. The village had no pharmacies, no Soriana, and no cell service, really. People had a landline and some had cable tv.
At least there was electricity.
Yeah, but no hot showers.
What does a kid do for fun out there?
I don't know how it is now, but we did what you would expect kids to do. Play soccer, tag, hide-and-seek, or watch tv. The boys would typically, go hunt, gather the herd of cattle, gather firewood. The girls would clean the house, make food, and tend the animals. We also went to school there.
So you guys attended the same elementary school your parents went to?
Yeah. Same exact school.
You said you hated school in Tijuana. Did you also hate school out there?
I didn't enjoy school, but I was more comfortable there than at my school in Tijuana.
What do you remember most?
I remember my brother and I going with my uncle to hunt iguanas and fishing with him. I remember going to the fields and acting like I knew what to do. It was always fun doing things with him and learning something new. I remember my grandma making announcements through a loud speaker to the pueblo that she was going to sell pork or beef the next day. I remember watching them slaughter the pigs and cows and observing the butcher slice the beef all night long. I remember chasing chickens and using my slingshot from my grandma's rooftop. I remember the smell of the firewood and the trash they'd burn in the back of the house.
Seems like you remember a lot. What is the most memorable event you remember from living there?
I remember once I was about to bathe and got a towel that was hanging from a wooden post. I wrapped the towel around me and realized there wasn't any shampoo next to the barrel of water in the bath. I went to my grandma and asked her if she had shampoo I could use. As soon as I asked, my grandma noticed a scorpion right next to my hip and she screamed. My immediate instinct was to smack the scorpion off of me and luckily I didn't get stung. I remember feeling awful scaring my grandma like that cause she was sitting at her table just staring out in the distance after that incident.
Damn.
Yeah it was all so sudden. Who knows what would've happened if there was already shampoo in the first place. I just felt so bad for my grandma.
You were in a situation that could've gone terrible.
I was grateful to be alive, but I couldn't help and think about my grandma's reaction. I felt so guilty.
Why is that?
My grandma had a son that died from a scorpion sting. I felt like I brought her right back to that traumatic experience of hers.
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah I think about that sometimes.
You guys had quite some journey. What do you make of it now as an adult?
It made me fully realize what my parents lived through. Whenever my mom shares a story, I know exactly what she's referring to. I think it took all these years, but it helped better understand my parents.
What about you?
I think it made me more aware of my existence. I know what life is like outside of a city. I mean, I was only like 10 years old, but I learned so much. I'd only know Orange County if I lived here my entire life. We only know as much as we experience. I learned so much in Tijuana as well. All the friends I made, their stories, our struggles, it was all so valuable. I feel like none of it has been depicted in a movie that I could relate to.
A movie? Wouldn't that just sensationalize the experience?
Yeah that is true. I would hate to see Hollywood's take on my parents' pueblo. Still, I think I'd wish for a movie that I could relate to.
Do you think you're more Mexican than people around you in California?
No I don't see it like that. I think people should experience their roots, though. Not in a way where you take a trip to Cabo or Rosarito. I feel like a lot of people don't know where they really come from.
What's wrong with Rosarito?
Nothing, but I don't think that's a genuine Mexican experience.
But you only lived in Mexico for a year, you were also just a child, and you said you were born in California. How do you know what a genuine Mexican experience is?
I mean, I just feel like Americans only know Mexico from its tourist places. That's a generalization, but I feel like there is some truth in that.
That makes a little more sense, but still a little patronizing.
Humans are dynamic.
So how has your view of California changed after living in those two places?
I feel like we don't understand how good we have it here. Not everyone, but we have it so good here.
Struggle doesn't disappear when you cross the border, though.
True. I only have my viewpoint to make that judgement so I guess it isn't applicable to everyone. I should say that I personally have it a whole lot better here. But I do feel like I can accomplish anything here. I think it made me more driven.
How so?
My family and I were making it in a country that was foreign to us. Well me and my sister and brother. We adapted quickly. I feel like I have applied that mindset here. It almost feels like I have an upper-hand here now that I know what Tijuana was like. I feel like I have an advantage and recognize my privileges and possibilities here.
"We have it so good here." What makes it better here?
I meant to say that the opportunities I have are more within reach here in California than in the places I lived in Mexico. To be fair though, I was just a kid during that time so I can't say for certain. I do believe that if I grew up in Mexico, I could have also had a happy and successful life because of my work ethic and the support around me. I guess it's easy for me to say that because I have a stable foundation to achieve things. Not everyone has a loving family or a circle of support that helps them elevate. Not everybody that has a family gets the support from them either, unfortunately. But I also don't think any of that was given to me entirely. Everything takes hard work, but it's easier to focus one the success once it happens rather than the struggle it took to make it. We don't talk enough about that. For the longest I hated Mexico because I felt like it took away from me what I thought I was meant to have here in America. Then I realized I had it all wrong. The journey is what made me. "We have it so good here" is just a measure based on my own experiences, I guess. I could have thought differently if things didn't work out here. Someone living in California could have the worst experience that differs completely from mine and to them, that statement could sound so silly. I should say that I have it so good here.
I just wanted to make sure you were speaking your truth.
Yeah definitely. Those kind of statements usually need more input anyway.
Okay so—
—I do think we have it so good here and a lot of us don't recognize it, though.
Okay… So, psychology, parenting, and Mexico. What's something we don't know about you? Any fears?
Balloons kind of.
Oh that's funny.
I'm also scared to live a sort of life that I didn't wish for. I understand life will run its course and things will occur that are outside of my control. I just hope to still be happy with what I make of the cards I'm dealt with. I am so scared of living a life I pity.
Damn...
But yeah, I hate when you squeeze latex balloons cause I never know when they will pop. Puts me in fight-or-flight mode.
So what's next for you?
Getting over my self-pity.
Humans are dynamic.
Humans are dynamic.
